Sunday, 4 April 2010

I made it worse instead of making it better.

Saturday, 27 February 2010

i dont want to live with him and i dont think i actually love him but its too late.

Tuesday, 16 February 2010

I keep looking for more. There is no more to be had. I know this. FAIL.

Tuesday, 9 February 2010

i failed, why do i always say too much in a text? i think about him too much and i shouldnt. must change my focus and sort myself out. now he hasnt text back and the para sets in. must get a grip!

Sunday, 7 February 2010

Yesterday's Failure

Yesterday, i failed to get a piece of work (folded into a paper airplane) into Michael Landy's Art Bin.

Saturday, 6 February 2010

i failed, i still like him, i shouldnt. also massive failure at the diet. should never drink again

Thursday, 28 January 2010

i failed to keep it in perspective.

Monday, 25 January 2010


I failed to pluck up the courage to talk to him

Saturday, 23 January 2010

I failed to find my boundaries again. Can you have an emotional rather than a physical affair?

Wednesday, 20 January 2010

I failed to sleep again. Insomnia is killing me.

Sunday, 17 January 2010

yesterday I failed... being myself like I decided I would. I saw him and pretended I hadn't. I was too nervous. Surprisingly it was the only thing I failed at. Nevertheless it was a large failure on my part .. because I wish I was his.

Monday, 4 January 2010

i failed to be strong again. i am far too honest, i regret this most days. I let people take the piss becoause im "too nice". I lack the confidence to tell people where to go when they need to be told. He told me he wanted me and not her, it felt great inside after he being so full of it. I told her what he said. maybe for once i shouldnt have and i could have been happy knowing that for once i had the better. I need to be stronger in standing up to everyone when it needs to be done. i fail to be confident in speak to people. I fail by caring too much what people will think of me. i fail by trusting no one! Is it a fialure to think no one can be trusted and there and no 100 percent genuine people? i think i think too much. im frustrated.

Saturday, 26 December 2009

History Exam

I failed my history exam - teacher told me "i could do better" obviously not, or I would have

xmas day

I failed to make Xmas Lunch, had pasta instead :)

Friday, 25 December 2009

I was really moody today

Tuesday, 15 December 2009

yesterday i failed to stand up for myself and my self respect, i failed to say no and then i failed to persuade myself it was okay and it wasn't my fault.

I failed to make the most of things

I keep failing to make the most of things.
Everyday, all the time.

Monday, 14 December 2009

I failed to enjoy a much anticipated college trip to Edinburgh and Glasgow. Instead, I spent virtually all of the 5 days we were away crying. I'm still not sure why.

Friday, 4 December 2009

I lost all sense of human rationality and spent a shameful amount of time googling a friend's name. I felt intensely weird afterward.

Saturday, 28 November 2009

I don't think I have ever repulsed anyone as much as I did yesterday, I would completely understand if he didn't want to see me again, but a huge part of me hopes that I will. What I said drunkenly on Thursday night still stands, I think.

Sunday, 22 November 2009

I flirted again.

Saturday, 21 November 2009

i was too honest. sometimes people need to hear the lie.

Friday, 20 November 2009

I spent far more than I should have, I took him for granted and I did no school work, again.

Thursday, 19 November 2009

Yesterday I failed to feel at home in the place where I live.

Tuesday, 17 November 2009

Yesterday I failed to stop my thoughts from turning to the person who I shouldn't be thinking of like that. By 'yesterday' I mean several months now.

Sunday, 15 November 2009

Yesterday I failed to keep it from spilling over the edges,
I hope I can put it back together
I failed to have a weekend, or any evenings off this week. I have been in uni almost constantly, perhaps it's time to buy a sleeping bag for my studio.
I failed to either do work or go out, but sit in between getting angry at myself for doing neither and nothing. I feel like a failure.
Yesterday I failed to do anything worthwhile.

Friday, 13 November 2009

today I failed to have a shower, I really hope no one notices
I failed to go to the pub with friends, and failed to even finish the film I was watching. I failed to get any work done because of said film, and failed to behave myself afterwards. 

Thursday, 12 November 2009

i failed to fail

Wednesday, 11 November 2009

I left my salmon to go off, so I couldn't have posh fish and chips for dinner.

Tuesday, 10 November 2009

Messed up today. Need to sort it out!
My Yorkshire Puddings were too doughy.

Sunday, 8 November 2009

I keep on thinking about 'her'. I know it is deemed as wrong but I like it.
... Probably the most embarrassing thing for a male to experience is premature ejaculation.

What makes it worse is when your with some one you admire, have no relationship with and rarely ever see.

Never has it ever happened to me untill yesterday.

horribly soul destroying .

Saturday, 7 November 2009

Yesterday I failed to do any work, yesterday counts as the past two weeks.

Friday, 6 November 2009

I still didn't find the nerve to go out and join the scene I love. I've been waiting for one year to find that courage.
I didn't cuddle him last night, instead I slept on my own and now I feel a bit guilty.

Thursday, 5 November 2009

Yesterday I realised that I may not love her after all.

Wednesday, 4 November 2009

I failed to stay awake in class yesterday. Even after a coffee, a bottle of coke and a can of irn bru. I failed to phone my friend back and I failed to return THOSE boots.

Tuesday, 3 November 2009


i keep stealing other peoples milk little by little, and then hide in my room.
they will never know.
also i think i may fancy a certain member of staff .....
Purchased two gin and tonics. Asked for two straws. Reached the table. Both straws had fallen. Fail.
I failed yesterday because I spent the night with somone who isn't my boyfriend, and i'm pretty sure it's all going to end in tears, and they won't be mine.

Monday, 2 November 2009

i didn't do any work. i didn't tidy my room. i didn't go for a run. i did spend all day drawing the boy i love... which has nothing to do with my work and he doesn't know
i stayed in bed all day, this year i was meant to be good
i have again fialed to start my essay. i had a chinese last night- i said i was going to be healthly after friday and saturday. i fail to trust people everyday except from my family

Sunday, 1 November 2009

I didn't dress up, at all.

Saturday, 31 October 2009

I spent last night lying on a bed with a man I think I love, and think he might feel the same way, but failed to sum up the courage to kiss him.
The bad men; yesterday I thought about both of them, for too long and in seriousness

Friday, 30 October 2009

I looked at someone in a way I shouldn't. they look at me too. its wrong but nice.
yesterday i ignored open dayers. come to art school its friendly
i tried not to drink then i drank a bottle of wine, then drank the vodkat in the fridge then a bottle of cider. then i smoked four fags in a row. the next morning i had to be a dentist
i was constipated all day and ate lots of cheese. it didn't pass
I had no self control yesterday. I'll try again tomorrow
I should say sorry. I'm not quite sure what I said yesterday, but I know it was bad. I remember her face. I'm sorry today.

Thursday, 29 October 2009

I managed to indulge in my bad habit all day, despite the fact I'm meant to be giving it up.
i deleted yesterdays work
I failed once more to choose the healthy option and ate two cupcakes from the bake sale one after the other and felt sick all morning
i was can't mess with peoples hearts
I realised I had only a theoretical understanding of balance
i put off starting 2 essays. again.
I didn't go to work, I got someone else to go for me.

Wednesday, 28 October 2009

I went to the pub, then did a bong instead of work.
Yesterday I watched Ugly Betty instead of reading my book. FAIL.
I wish I had taken more videos of you when you were here. I want to remember you exactly as you were. To me, this is a failure.
Yesterday I failed to make it to the loo in the middle of the night without stubbing my toe on the desk, AGAIN!!
Yesterday i failed because
1. I didn't quite have the nerve to apologise and end it with him.
2. I was too scared to go to the doctors, because of what they might say
3. I didn't say sorry
4. I ate, so im now going to have to stop for a few days
I failed by going over and having a cup of tea. I said I'd stay away, but I couldn't.
i keep giving in to people by making the first step after falling out when it has been them who has been in the wrong, im too soft and care to much what people think
i cant help avoiding doing my essay and keep looking for other things to do instead- fail
I didn't go home, I stayed.

Tuesday, 27 October 2009

i didn't have any clean i picked some dirty ones out the washing basket and wore them.
yesterday the whole day eclipsed me and today i thought it was yesterday and was sad to find i missed it
stayed at home in ma one-zy, instead of going out
Yesterday I convinced myself that I was better. Clearly I am not.
yesterday i watched the matrix. fail.
yesterday I forgot how to be subtle.
yesterday I didn't go out. I sat in bed and watched a documentary on Scotland, forgot to be young, and didn't eat dinner.
I ate my flatmate's doritos.

Monday, 26 October 2009

I went to bed instead of going to the party downstairs.